BATP's Impact & Success

We are often asked about "successes". After nearly 20 years of working with abused and homeless women and children, I have, I think, learned the indicators of success. I have come to believe that they are:

• Whatever change that an individual is striving for begins to blossom
• It is the hope that you see on a woman’s face when she talks about the future
• It is the sparkle returning to the once sad eyes of a child
• It is a woman and her children realizing that they are rich indeed if they value each other’s love and respect each other’s personhood
• It is a woman or child saying "I feel safe here"
• It is that beam of achievement that radiates outwardly when a woman is able to get a car, a job, a home, and she has come to believe that she is capable of self sufficiency
• It is those times when one woman shares her experiences with another woman and helps her visualize a life without violence and abuse
• It is that sticky hug you often get from a child

Success? It is little steps and it is big steps…but it is joyful in whichever way it comes. Success is, I believe, the rebirth of the human spirit, an awakening of one’s possibilities and dreams, and the knowledge that one is a treasure of God…valuable and beautiful.

Diane Savage
President/CEO

In Everything ……

by Kevin Wade

Sometimes in life people forget to say things
Hold them back for the right time
Oppress them for the correct moment
I really want to thank you.

I want to thank you for allowing me to finally breathe.
All the hell that you thought you caused in me
Only made me achieve better
For this I want to thank you

All the shouting, fake crying, and pushing without cause
Opened my eyes to see the true you
For these things
I want to say thank you

For the unjust, unwanted, unmerited, unloved statements
That flowed from you relentlessly
Formed within me a pure strength of character
For these things also
I truly and deeply want to say thank you

There is an adage that one day you will understand its true meaning
‘beauty is only skin deep, but ugly is to the bone.
For showing me the meaning
I want to say thank you

The years of being in a dead relationship
That was void of hope and love
That left me empty, working for all, and always alone
I want to say thank you

I don’t know if it was from parentage that made you
Or if it was just your true nature that made you the way that you are
I want to applaud you for being overly and overtly beautiful
A living epitome of the Disney villains
cowardly and covertly ugly
so it’s no secret that you are destined for greatness
along with the gnashing, gnawing, and a lake of hot brimstone
clutching the dark heart that you possess
Thank you

I want to thank you for always digging
Digging up all my old faults and failures with military accuracy
For it allowed me to leave you in your ignorance and stupidity
I speak both of not knowing and the low apex having a low  I.Q.
Merci

T. Perry spoke of people that are with each other for a season
And those that are forever and a day
If I could change a thing in my past
I would not, could not, and shall not
Changing one thing would diminish the brightness in my life today

I want to thank you for always not being able to rise to the occasion
for always looking for and at the problem
and not giving any assistance in finding a solution
nor calling on the Problem Solver for an answer

Again for having a callous heart from the start of us
thinking that people owe you a pass
because of a nice smile and good hair
for not being able to carry out wifely duties with any manner of care
for these pitiful things
I want to say thank you

After saying all that I have said
I realize that you have pushed me to reach my best
meet the best, stand and give my best
and when Murphy pushes again
I will be able to pass that test
Thank you

I want to let you know
After I have emptied the wagon
And the load is a great deal lighter
I forgive you with every fiber of my being
Because the realization along with late maturation should show
That everything was not to be about you
But any way and in any case
Thank you

Visitor Comments:

I just want to say again thank you to everyone at BATP. I have been helped in so many ways by BATP. I could list and list. I just read Diane Savage's list of success, and that is me. I am now doing things I never thought I would do again. Like pursue my love of writing or even have a full time job. On Feb. 3 (my birthday) it will have been three years since my first appt. for an assessment. It is hard for me to see how far I have come and to think of how on that day I thought I would go no further. BATP helped me help myself and to get my hope and resolve back. I have not been as active at BATP in the past year due to working and caring for my son, but I am
so thankful for all of the services I have received and for knowing other women are getting the help they need. You all deserve the biggest pat on the back humanly possible. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

Stephanie

I would like to take this opportunity to share a story of how I came to love Bay Area Turning Point and how my stay in the shelter changed the course and outcome of mine and my children’s life - thank you for the growth that has taken place in my life because of the leadership you have displayed in the Greater Houston Area.

I was in a marriage that was unpredictably dangerous, as well as mentally debilitating.  I married a man just like my dad.  My dad would get drunk and become destructive and smash up the furniture in the house, the walls, everything that got in his way.  I remember one time after he had gotten wasted and came home late, my mother was ready to leave him.  He picked me up by my throat, suspended in the air against the wall and held me there. My mother began to cry.  He reached in his pocket and pulled out his pocket knife, held it to my throat and told my mother if she left him, he would slit my throat.  This was my life at 5 years old.  But no matter what, children always love their Dads.  When I was eight, my dad died of an aneurism in front of me. My mother was pregnant with my baby sister.  I know my sister probably wishes she could have met him, but I think because she didn’t, she grew up happy and she even married healthy.  My mother never did remarry. I am starting to think she had a point!

When I met my ex-husband I was on welfare, public housing and was raising two children alone. My ex-husband convinced me he loved me and promised me the world.  Right away, he wanted to move in and right away the craziness began.  Eventually, I ended up marring him because he said he would kill himself if I didn’t.  He promised that if I married him and had his children he would change.  I married him and instead of this great husband I wanted, I got my dad. My ex took control of my home. He never would keep a job and exploited my finances.  When he wouldn’t get his way, he would make us pay. He would have fits of rage where he would destroy my home smashing everything in sight, especially gifts from my mother and sister.  He was verbally and physically abusive.  One time, he kicked me when I was pregnant with his son.  The next day I delivered our son, not knowing if he would be normal.  After a psychotic fit of rage, he would calm down and he would be so apologetic and sweet. He always claimed he didn’t remember what had happened.  He would have anger outburst then disappear for days.

Every three months, like clockwork, everything would happen all over again.

After dealing with this for years, he threw his last fit of rage with my children around. I called Bay Area Turning Point with no where else to go.  I wasn’t sure how I would be able to have a different life or if even that was possible.  Many times I had made my ex-husband leave, but it was understood that he could always come back because I could not afford childcare and a place to live.  He knew that I couldn’t afford both.  I was so scared.  I was so alone and I didn’t see a way out.  I didn’t have any friends that I could talk to.  I had his family but they always conspired with him for me to take him back. After all, he watched his mom get beat up by his dad for years.  She always stayed!

I had already called the shelter but I had to wait until it was safe to leave.  I had never left him.  I stocked the refrigerator with his favorite beer.  I made sure his pockets were full of our families’ money.  Then I waited.  I knew that I was not going to get out of that house with his children and I was not leaving without them.  So this night, I was willing to endure whatever was going to happen, so he would leave. Then I would get away with my children.  There was no fit of rage that night but he did sneak away and then SO DID I! I swallowed my pride and went to the shelter.  As far as shelters go, BATP is beautiful.  I quickly bonded with other women that were in the same situation as me.  I took advantage of many of the programs they offered.  I was taught the cycle of abuse.  Without anyone telling me, I saw the whirlwind that this relationship had taken.  I began to understand and learn how I had married someone just like my father and if I did not break this cycle now my children were destined to repeat the pattern that I printed out for myself.  I had to break the cycle.  BATP offered referrals for my children and me; Counseling from certified professionals that I took full advantage of because I needed to completely reprogram my mind. All of this and I never had to pay a cent.
While there, I received help from them so I could finish my college education because they taught me that being self-sufficient was another key to breaking hazardous patterns of relationships.  I began studying Mental Health and learned so much about drug use and different types of abuse. People began to see a new me.  I was beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel.  After a while, I got a job at a local School District as a Teachers Aide.  It was an adaptive behavior program where the students were mentally disturbed.  The things I learned in shelter and in college proved to be valuable.  My supervisors were very impressed with my knowledge on the students mental health and the incite I had into the issues in their homes.  For the first time in my life, my opinions were sought out and I was listened to. I continued to do to my weekly support groups at the shelter.  I also took an assertiveness class that taught me how to say no to my ex-husband and to others who could drain you without you even knowing it.  I took parenting classes; again, every resource was free.

When I left the shelter I continued to see my caseworker and stayed in close contact with the shelter staff because I had always felt safe there. Eventually, I graduated college with a counseling degree but since I was already working for the district, I was promoted to a teacher because BATP paid for my Alternative teacher certification classes to become a certified Teacher. Last year, I bought our first home and I went back to school to work on my Masters degree in Education Administration. Recently, I wrote my first book and will be working on my second one soon. I am also the founder and President of a non-profit. Our mission is to get scholarships to single parent homes - whether it is a Mom, Dad, Grandparent, guardian or child.

With out BATP I would still be in a very bad situation without hope. Where there is no hope the people parish.  I would probably still be on welfare and wondering everyday if my children and I were going to be killed in one of his psycho fits of rage. Even though I moved out of the shelter years ago, I never lost contact with them.  They continued to stay interested in my life and the lives of my children.  I will always be a product of God and BATP.

Diane,

You may not even remember this, but it was one of my first experiences with you and with the agency.

The shelter had just been built; families were moving in; procedures were being established. The ladies were to take turns cooking the meals. I happened to be in Sam’s and noticed a big sale on huge beef roasts. I thought how the families would enjoy really good meat, as well as the more commonplace turkey and pasta. So I bought a couple of the roasts, envisioning the surprise and enjoyment of the residents. I dropped the meat off at the shelter.

The next day I stopped in before mealtime. As I entered the building the smell of burnt meat permeated the hallway. Disappointed, I hurried to your office to find out what had happened. You explained that the lady who was cooking that day didn’t know how to slow cook a roast and had tried to fry it at a hot temperature. My heart sank. I had spent quite a bit of money and it was wasted. But you said “It’s not wasted. For the first time, this woman made a mistake, and she didn’t get beaten for it.”

Suddenly, the mission of BATP became clear to me. As important as the food, the clothes, the laundry rooms and the library, the shelter offered women a place of dignity, where they could make a mistake and learn from it, where they received support, rather than pain and humiliation, as they learned to become independent.

The ladies scraped off the burnt parts of the roast and made sandwiches. It wasn’t what I had in mind – but it showed me what Bay Area Turning Point is all about.

Kathy Harlan
Writer, Change Magazine
Member, Friends of Bay Area Turning Point
Former board member of the agency
Current Donor and Volunteer

Brenda came to Bay Area Turning Point in the spring of 2009, reaching out for assistance.  At the time Brenda spoke little English, had very little financial means, and was in great fear for her life.  Days before she had gotten out of the hospital after a brief stay for observation.  Her husband had held her hostage inside her own home, mentally and physically abusing her for days.  Brenda disclosed that he had done this often throughout their relationship.  Previously when he got out of jail, she always felt as if she had to go back because she had no money and needed to care for their children.  She stated she didn’t know where to turn.

Brenda came to the Crisis Intervention Center and met with a bilingual advocate who began to assist her on her road to freedom from abuse.  Brenda was assisted in applying for food stamps and medical assistance for her children, taking English as a second language (ESL) classes, emergency food boxes and diapers for her children, and finding a bilingual therapist.  A legal advocate also assisted Brenda in filing for a protective order, Crime Victims Compensation (CVC), and getting in touch with a legal aid attorney to assist Brenda with her immigration. 
Soon all the hard work would begin to pay off. 

In early summer 2009, Brenda was granted a protective order for herself and her three children.  She was also informed that when her husband did get out of jail, he would be deported back to Mexico and barred from entering the United States.  Brenda received full benefits from CVC - paying for counseling, medical bills, relocation, day care and lost support.

Currently Brenda is awaiting her UVISA to be approved so she can begin working legally in the United States.  As she awaits her UVISA she is volunteering at a Children’s Hospital, assisting staff with translation of medical terms to Spanish speaking clients.  Her daycare and rent are paid for through CVC, she and her children are in counseling and her past due medical bills are taken care of.  However, most importantly, Brenda and her three little girls can go to bed each night knowing that they are safe.

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